 |
||||
|
||||
 |
|
|||||
 |
Dear Friend, Today I want to take up Step # 6, and what I believe is one of the most difficult things for us to do, so please follow me on this journey: I have asked God to give me a contrite heart so that I can come clean. It seems that every time you open up the newspaper there is some type of a headline using the expression coming clean. Many of these articles are asking people to come clean about some issue, others are commenting on how someone has admitted to or confessed something. Over the last few months I have set forth what Coming Clean means to me and how do we go about this process. Today I want to cover what I believe is another absolute condition to coming clean: A contrite heart. The question becomes, is it possible for us to truly come clean without having a contrite heart? "The high and lofty One Who inhabits eternity, the Holy One, says this: "I live in that high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with a repentant hearts." (Isaiah 57:15) The persons who openly come clean about something often receive a great deal of criticism. That criticism is generally based on the critics' judgment that he has not seen true repentance. The critic may say that the person coming clean is really only doing it out of convenience or out of some type of financial interest. How then do we know when someone is truly repentant? How do we know that the repentance is genuine? The answer lies in having a contrite heart. We have already covered and concluded that coming clean will often mean many different things to different people. The process will vary. What cannot vary is contrition. If this is true we must explain how coming clean can mean different things to different people and how contrition will not differ from person to person. Is this a contradiction with the postmodern thought that would accept all forms of coming clean as equally valid? I suggest that the only contradiction comes if we do not make a distinction between process and substance: between action and meaning. The process of coming clean can and often time will differ, the substance and its meaning is where the distinction lies. Thus, we must disagree with postmodernist as we posit that all process of coming clean are valid, but not all acts of coming clean are valid. It is in understanding the substance-as it is expressed in having a contrite heart-that we find the tools that aid us in defining coming clean as the liberating act, which cleanses us from hidden sin. So, what does it mean to be contrite and have a contrite heart? And, is it possible to come clean without it? Furthermore, can we ever expect to be truly repentant when in fact we are not contrite about our actions? Are we repenting for the sake of liberation or for some hidden agenda? The Encarta dictionary defines contrition as, "A deep and genuine feeling of guilt and remorse. A deep sense of shame over past sins and a firm resolve not to sin in the future." The English Thesaurus defines contrition as, "repentance, penitence, remorse, regret, sorrow and apology. The list goes on and on. Let us pause for a moment on Encarta's definition: "A deep and genuine feeling of guilt and remorse", and consider it a precursor to the process of liberation by which we are delivered, restored, and healed as we become transparent before Christ, family, and those we have hurt. To be transparent we must first look at our own heart-our guilty and remorseful heart-and recognize that we have done wrong; and in so doing we have hurt those whom we love; and have created a wall that prevents us from having an intimate relationship with both our loved ones and God. What did it mean for me, Jorge L. Valdes, to have a contrite heart? Better yet, how did I even know that I needed to have a contrite heart and that without it I would remain in bondage and, thus, unable to be transparent? For me it was a process. It was not some instantaneous conviction where I realized that I was some horrific sinner that needed to repent and fix all the wrong that I had done and make it all better with those I had hurt so much. It was a process, by which God convicted me of the fact that the daily choices I made in search of some mysterious meaning to life were mere satisfaction of personal selfish desires. Contrition came as I began to realize that those choices were creating a deeper void within me, and more important, were separating me more and more from those I loved so much. It knew that something was deeply wrong and that I had to fix it or die yet I was not able. The separation from those I loved was not a physical separation but in fact a spiritual detachment between them and me. Looking back, some of the closest and most intimate moments I ever had with my family came after I was arrested. I did not see them for extended periods of time and thought that my world had come to an end. Even though we were not physically together, we were united like never before. But this did not happen until the day we all came clean with our heavenly father with such desperation, that as we each held on to HIM we were able to hold onto each other. As we each became one with Him we became one with each other. My friend, contrition is the outward expression of an inner brokenness; it is the internal evidence that leads us to come clean. It is that force that propels us to fix the wrong we have made; it is what others see through the transparency of our tears. "My hands have made both heaven and earth, and they are mine. I, the Lord, have spoken! "I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at My Word." (Isaiah 66:2) God bless you.
Love,
Jorge Valdes, Ph.D.
|