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Duty “In the same way when you obey me you should say we are not worthy of praise we are servants who have simply done our duty” (Luke 17: 10). In his book “A Promise Kept” Robertson McQuilkin writes: “The decision to come to Columbia University was the most difficult I have had to make, the decision to leave 22 years later, though painful, was one of the easiest . . . Let me explain. My dear wife, Muriel, has been in failing mental health for about 12 years. So far I have been able to carry both her ever-growing needs and my leadership responsibility at Columbia. But recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contended most of the times she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just ‘discontent’. She is filled with fear—even terror—that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. So it became clear to me that she needs me now full-time. The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel ‘in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part.’ So as I told my students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. I do not have to care for Muriel; I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.” It is interesting to observe how many “trusted, life long friends—wise and godly,” urged McQuilkin to institutionalize his wife for the sake of the Kingdom of God. After all, they suggested, she would not know the difference. Yet his decision to forsake all to fulfill his vow is quite amazing, especially in a world where words like duty and honor have been replaced by words such as responsibility, something we have the option to assume or delegate to others. For a man who always believed that God was first and family second, McQuilkin could have easily shifted the responsibility for the care of his wife to others: “Should I put the kingdom of God first and, for the sake of Christ and the Kingdom, arrange for institutionalization?” Putting the Kingdom of God first meant honoring a vow he had made before God to his wife 42 years earlier. Yet, for McQuilkin, it was not his responsibility to take care of his dying wife, it was his duty and most important his honor. As we traverse through a postmodern culture that teaches us to “look out for number one” is easy to delegate many of our responsibilities, especially those that interfere with our comfort zone and for which there exist the possibility of great loss. But, if we are to change the face of a culture that breed’s self-gratification and not sacrifice we must reach back to those days when duty and honor were inseparable words. Where it was our duty and honor to fulfill our vows and thus the possibility of not doing so was not an option. Lord, allow me to find great duty and honor in being a servant. Allow me to be different, and when faced with hard choices in a world, which seeks self-fulfillment, allow me to find freedom not in responsibility but in duty and honor. Meditation: What is the difference to you between duty and honor and responsibility?
Jorge L. Valdes, Ph.D.
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